On just another casual Saturday night, she was in her bed, watching marathons of TV shows as she browsed through Pinterest. Nothing sounded more fun to her than doing this. Most people would be out partying, dancing and socialising; but not her. She was fine in her shell, especially after what had happened...
A few days ago, she had gone to college to take notes for exams. At that time, she met few of her friends. They were planning post-exam parties. They invited her too. It was not her thing but she went anyway because everyone pushed her to come and see the world outside books. Even when her heart was not in it, she couldn't take their taunts and dramas. So, she agreed, just to shut them up. She decided to go with the flow; not knowing that only dead fish go with the flow.
Of course, her exams went well. But, ever since that day she was more nervous about the party than about exams. Parties involved many strangers, loud music, uncomfortable conversations, no food, excess alcohol and everything she was not prepared for. She tried to hang around, talk to people she knew and managed to fake a smile now and again.
40 minutes in, she went out. She could not take it. That was a sea of people and she was drowning. She could not do it anymore. The anxiety attack would have killed her, literally. She knew she did not need to prove anything to anyone. She knew it would be bad but she thought she might make it. But, she couldn't and that was okay. Instead of drowning and making herself acceptable, she decided to walk out and do something for herself. Instead of pretending to have a social life, she decided to stay happy alone. Those parties are just about meaningless gossip that never make her wonder about the deep secrets of her soul. That kind of social life only establishes around people who back-stab each other while still pretending to be friends. Those clubs are just dingy places where she could never get lost dreaming about her passions. Those friends were not important as she thought they were. Because, friends who don't understand her, have no right to be in her life. Friends who after knowing what she suffers through and don't empathize or care have no right to be in her life. What good are friends if they don't support you in times like these?
And so, when she read an amazing quote on Pinterest, it just made her eternally happy and meaningful to exist. It read:
"Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was up."