Friday, 13 October 2017

Trauma Victim. (Diary Logs #6)

Hello Readers! This is a fictional post about a girl who was bullied, harassed & unfortunately suffered the trauma for the rest of her short life ahead. Again, it is a fictional post. All your love is welcome & appreciated because I know bits & pieces are always relatable!


She leaves her office at 7:30 PM. She puts on a scarf & her fake glasses. She checks whether her brunette wig is proper & that her blonde hair isn't peeping from underneath. She changes her clothes in the office before leaving, because what if they know what she has worn that day? It would be easy to track her. For the same reason, she buys 15 scarves a month, to be unrecognizable. Also, for the same reason, she carries a different bag every day. She walks to the subway hoping no one is on her trace. She cannot put on headphones, because she has to be alert at all times. She takes the metro & stays careful the entire trip. She observes people who are not observing her. She gets tipsy when a guy keeps eyeing her. He gets up & approaches her. She reaches the pepper spray in her bag. But. he just tells her that there's a leaf stuck in her hair. The level of anxiety from that little incident becomes unbearable for her. Because, what if he would've approached her, threatened to kill her & eventually kidnapped her? She relaxes & gets off as her stop comes. She walks home on alert.

The moment she reaches home, she feels that something is different. Or is it just in her head? It's 8:20 PM on a Thursday night. It's dark outside. She immediately checks whether she has locked the door. Further, she goes to check whether the windows are closed & then she shuts the outside world by drawing the curtains so that no one would see her. She removes her glasses, scarf & wig. She gets into her home clothes. She checks her phone. She's scared to order food at her home because she's always afraid of 'them' finding out where she stays. She's scared to go out & stay too long into the night because it is risky. She can't go watch a movie in a theatre, because it's a blackout with strangers which causes anxiety. She can never lead a normal life. Not so soon, anyway. Maybe she's not in mortal danger. But, she can't help but think about worst case scenarios.

Because she was a nobody, she got bullied in high school.
Because she was naive, they used her
Because she was afraid, they kept tormenting her for years.
Because she was done being the victim, she left.

And then, one day, she just left. She left to get a new life & be somebody who wouldn't have regrets. With 2 suitcases & another bag full of courage, she flew away, like the wind. But, the past was a part of her. It never left her. They couldn't reach her now. But, there was a constant fear, what will happen if they do? Will she die of a panic attack? Will she punch them in the face? Will she pretend to not know them? What will happen? While some part of her knew she was safe, the other part was always terrified.

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