Dread of Life. (Guest Post)

Hello Readers! Happy June! How are we already here? Always amazed at how every day looks small, but when I look back, I’ve already come all this way.

So, today I am here with a guest post, written by
Sameer Joshi. He is a writer, poet, traveler & friend. He is a person like any of you all, with a lot of wonder about how the world works. You’ll know when you read the post & I’m sure you will find a relation somewhere.

Also, the below photo is clicked by his brother, Vishal Joshi, who is an incredible photographer! I’m lucky to have this duo of talented brothers on my blog!

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Being on the edge of extroversion as well as introversion consistently has left me baffled as to which side I belong to. Is it a choice I need to make? It’s as if I am just standing on the ledge. It feels like I have spent all my life confused whether to step down the ledge or jump off it.
What kind of life is that?

I have been in many groups. Then it went down to a few groups. Soon it was one group. And, today, here I stand, one person. Few betrayals from friends. Some ignorance from others. A backup for many of the remaining. A frenemy here and a back-stabber there. I have gone through so many faces; real, fake, superficial, pitying, smirky, wicked. And, after hoping for every face to be kind, here I am, finally without any hope left to give.
What kind of life is that?

Even after such sufferings, when I’m left alone, I crave to be a part of a group. But, as soon as I see their true colors, I crave to be apart from that group. Is it always my fault or am I judging myself too much? Would you judge me too much after what I have been through? Or is it that I only like the feeling of being in a group but not actually being in one? Is the feeling enough to continue to live as an extroverted introvert?
What kind of life is that?

Gary Vaynerchuk, who has made entrepreneurship cool, quoted, “You’re not lost in life, you are just early in the process.” If that’s true, why do I constantly feel like I am running away from life? I can’t see the process. I can just see one day and going through it again and again and again until I meet my fate. What’s the point in living if we are going to die one day? Some say that you should live everyday like it is your last day. While some claim that we should be patient and live life in the long term. Whose advice should you take? With whom do you share such thoughts that kill you piece by piece every day? Your peers are busy being someone else’s slave. Your parents won’t understand your entire generation. Your juniors are as clueless as you are. How do you find a mentor? Whom do you trust? What could you precisely do to make your life better? How do you choose when there is loss & hurt in every possible path?

What kind of life is that?

Solitude or Camaraderie?
Alone or Lonely?
Isolation or Community?
Everybody’s Extrovert or Nobody’s Introvert?

Until next time,